A Very Marauders Advent Calendar
by Slone'sTravelDreamer
Summary: To count down their last twelve days to Winter Holidays the boys decide to create their very own Advent Calendar and share it with the school.


**Disclaimer: I don't own so don't sue**

**AN: ****I wrote this last year as a Fic Exchange and thought I should share with everyone. **I hope you have a very Happy Holiday Season and hope this tickles your funny bone! 

* * *

"We out did ourselves this year boys," James said gleefully looking over the advent calendar for the twelve days leading up to Christmas Holidays.

"Well this is our last year," Sirius said slapping James on the back.

"Isn't this a bit excessive?" Remus asked.

"Absolutely not," James and Sirius said together as Remus rolled his eyes.

"You can blame Lily for the fact that she got that song stuck in my head a week ago." James said rubbing his temples.

"Hell no, am I blaming Lily for anything, do you remember what happened to Martha Babcot during fifth year when Martha blamed Lily for stealing her boyfriend," Remus said with an alarmed look on his face.

"I hear she's doing well at Beauxbatons, even if she still breaks out into green and purple spots when she is lying." Sirius said.

"That reminds me we should send Peter pictures I can't believe his mum never gave him the Dragon Pox potion," James said. Remus and Sirius nodded as they helped James clean up the table that their carefully laid plans had been built upon.

"Tomorrow gentlemen, 1730 on the dot," James said and marched out of the room as if some kind of military leader before poking his head back in, "Do you want detention with Flitch or what?"

"You'd think as Head Boy you wouldn't abuse your powers like you do," Remus said.

"I don't abuse them, that hurts right here, Remy," James said pointing at his heart.

"Oh do you still have one of those," Remus asked with a laugh at James hurt expression.

"Sirius, tell Remus to stop picking on me," James pouted.

"Grow up," Sirius and Remus said laughing passing James as they made their way to the Gryffindor.

"I get no respect," James said shaking his head with a laugh and fallowed his friends.

~*~12DAYS12DAYS12DAYS~*~

James eagerly watched his watch counting down the minutes until five thirty all day as dinner had been going on for fifteen minutes when James heard from his left.

"Operation Advent is a go," Sirius said with wild grin as the mash potatoes bowls on Ravenclaw's table marched to the edge of the table making the Ravenclaw students duck of cover. Large spoons moved to the side of each bowl before scooping up a load of potatoes to face the Slytherin table and let loose a volley of flying potatoes.

"We've got direct hits, captain," Remus said with a roll of his eyes as he watched Snape, Regulus, and Avery wipe the food from their face. Regulus scooped up a hand full of potatoes and threw them at the Gryffindor table to come up short hitting a Hufflepuff in the back of the head.

"FOOD FIGHT!" a first year yelled out before the Great Hall was turned into a battle ground and food was the ammunitions, screams of laughter fallowed by screams from the professors to Dumbledore to stop the food fight, Dumbledore unable or unwilling to listen to his staff joined in on the fun.

On the wall above the head table in Catsup and mint jelly were the words

"On the First Day of Christmas the Marauders gave to us a food fight in the Great Hall."

~*~12DAYS12DAYS12DAYS~*~

"MR. POTTER, MR. BLACK AND MR. LUPIN!" McGonagall yelled the next day just before lunch.

"McGonagall, my favorite and best looking if I may add professor, how are you this fine late autumn afternoon?" Sirius asked with a cheeky smile.

"You three will be helping Mr. Flitch clean this evening and you Mr. Potter should know better, I told Dumbledore that you shouldn't be Head Boy," McGonagall said her cheeks pink.

"Why?" The three boys shouted.

"I know it was the three of you who pulled last night's stunt," McGonagall said pointing her finger at them.

"I know not what you speak of dear lady, as Head Boy I have given an oath to uphold the rules of Hogwarts and stop rule breakers like those who pulled off last night's stunt as you call it." James said.

"I have my eyes on the three of you," McGonagall said before marching into the Great Hall which was yet again in the middle of a Food War.

"You three!" Flitch screamed looking at James, Sirius and Remus.

Who help up signs that said, "On the Second Day of Christmas the Marauders gave to us two cranky professors and a food fight in the Great Hall."

~*~12DAYS12DAYS12DAYS~*~

The next morning the inhabitants of Hogwarts woke up to a winter wonderland inside the walls of Hogwarts. No less than three snowball fights had broken out before breakfast. When throughout the school you could hear McGonagall and Flitch yell, "POTTER, BLACK AND LUPIN!"

The students saw what made them yell was a large ice sculpture professing, "On the Third Day of Christmas the Marauders gave to us three epic snowball fights, two cranky professors and a food fight in the Great Hall."

~*~12DAYS12DAYS12DAYS~*~

Slughorn was cranky when four cauldrons exploded in his class and etched into his blackboard, "On the Fourth Day of Christmas the Marauders gave to us four exploding cauldrons, three epic snowball fights, two cranky professors and a food fight in the Great Hall."

~*~12DAYS12DAYS12DAYS~*~

McGonagall and Slughorn cried out when Dumbledore awarded Gryffindor house five hundred points for Festive sprit. With some quick wand work from Remus the evergreen garlands above the Great Hall door twisted themselves into, "On the Fifth Day of Christmas the Marauders gave to us FIVE HUNDRED POINTS, four exploding cauldrons, three epic snowball fights, two cranky professors and a food fight in the Great Hall."

~*~12DAYS12DAYS12DAYS~*~

"YOU THREE ALONG WITH YOUR ENTIRE HOUSE HAVE SIX NIGHTS OF DETENTIONS TO CLEAN UP THE MESS YOUR FOOD FIGHTS HAS CAUSED AND TO SHOVLE THE CORRIDORS OF YOUR INFERNAL SNOW!" Flitch screamed at the Marauders. That night as the Gryffindor's worked someone had written on a window, "On the Sixth Day of Christmas the Marauders gave to us six dentations, FIVE HUNDRED POINTS, four exploding cauldrons, three epic snowball fights, two cranky professors and a food fight in the Great Hall."

~*~12DAYS12DAYS12DAYS~*~

Saturday dawned bright and clear perfect (if not a bit chilly) for the last Quidditch Match of the term Gryffindor vs Slytherin, which ended with James catching the snitch before slamming into the stands breaking his wrist and pissing off seven Slytherins all at once. Sirius and Remus let off fireworks from Gryffindor tower that night saying, "On the Seventh Day of Christmas the Marauders gave to us seven pissed off Slytherins, six detentions, FIVE HUNDRED POINTS, four exploding cauldrons, three epic snowball fights, two cranky professors and a food fight in the Great Hall."

~*~12DAYS12DAYS12DAYS~*~

With a little help from Moaning Myrtle the Marauder got eight floors of toilets to flood but not just flood to do a choreographed dance routine to spell out, "On the Eighth Day of Christmas the Marauders gave to us eight toilets a flooding, seven pissed off Slytherins, six detentions, FIVE HUNDRED POINTS, four exploding cauldrons, three epic snowball fights, two cranky professors and a food fight in the Great Hall."

~*~12DAYS12DAYS12DAYS~*~

"How did you talk me into this again," Sirius whispered tugging on the purple corset vest he is wearing.

"I didn't talk you into it, I'm cashing in a bet," James said running his fingers through his bald mullet.

"Why am I wearing a dress," Remus asked tugging on the short French maids outfit.

"Oh you look great Remus," Lily said and looked down at herself, "How did I get roped into this?"

James just smirked and looked down at the eleven house elves their pillowcase covers had been transfigured into mismatched tuxes, "You ready guys?"

Eleven heads nodded as the doors to the Great Hall burst open and plunged the hall into darkness as the four Gryffindors got into positions along with the elves. The four students are atop the head table with the elves on Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff's tables.

The lights come up with James singing, "It's astounding, Time is fleeting, Madness takes its toll,"

"Ah," Remus sings.

"But listen closely," James sings moving around.

"Not for very much longer," Remus sings as he rolls his eyes to dance with James.

James sings, "I've got to keep control. I remember doing the Time Warp. Drinking the moments the blackness would hit me."

Remus and James sing together, "And the void would be calling,"

"Let's do the Time Warp again," the Elves sang out. The four students preformed the song with the elves as the party guests. At the end of the number the elves were on the Head Table with the students doing a kick line.

As the floating candles formed the words, "On the Ninth Day of Christmas the Marauders gave to us nine elves a dancing, eight toilets a flooding, seven pissed off Slytherins, six detentions, FIVE HUNDRED POINTS, four exploding cauldrons, three epic snowball fights, two cranky professors and a food fight in the Great Hall."

~*~12DAYS12DAYS12DAYS~*~

The sounds of thundering hooves awoke the students the next morning. The students upon exiting would find ten herds of centaurs dress in all manners from blue streaked manes and tails to I heart NY t-shirts.

"Who invited our American Cousins?" Firenze yelled over the noise of the other centaurs yelling, "PARTY POINES!"

James, Sirius and Remus quietly left as the Party Ponies sang out, "On the Tenth Day of Christmas the Marauders gave to us ten stampeding centaurs, nine elves a dancing, eight toilets a flooding, seven pissed off Slytherins, six detentions, FIVE HUNDRED POINTS, four exploding cauldrons, three epic snowball fights, two cranky professors and a food fight in the Great Hall.

~*~12DAYS12DAYS12DAYS~*~

No one is really sure how the Marauders set eleven of the twelve trees in the Great Hall a blaze but the charred remains of a banner proclaimed, "On the Eleventh Day of Christmas the Marauders gave to us eleven trees a blaze, ten stampeding centaurs, nine elves a dancing, eight toilets a flooding, seven pissed off Slytherins, six detentions, FIVE HUNDRED POINTS, four exploding cauldrons, three epic snowball fights, two cranky professors and a food fight in the Great Hall."

~*~12DAYS12DAYS12DAYS~*~

"At the urging of many of our professors I have been asked to write and put into effect twelve new school rules. First new rule food is to be eaten not thrown, Second rule snow is to be kept outside, Third…and lastly the song Twelve Days of Christmas is to not be reinterpreted and acted out." Dumbledore said at breakfast before dismissing the students with a cheery, "Have a very Happy Holidays!"

As the Great Hall Doors closed on the back of the doors was carved, "On the Twelfth Day of Christmas the Marauders gave to us twelve new rules, eleven trees a blaze, ten stampeding centaurs, nine elves a dancing, eight toilets a flooding, seven pissed off Slytherins, six detentions, FIVE HUNDRED POINTS, four exploding cauldrons, three epic snowball fights, two cranky professors and a food fight in the Great Hall.

Dumbledore laughed as he read The Marauders 12 Days of Christmas.

* * *

~*~ Lyrics to The Marauders 12 Days of Christmas~*~

On the First Day of Christmas the Marauders gave to us a food fight in the Great Hall.

On the Second Day of Christmas the Marauders gave to us two cranky professors and a food fight in the Great Hall.

On the Third Day of Christmas the Marauders gave to us three epic snowball fights, two cranky professors and a food fight in the Great Hall.

On the Fourth Day of Christmas the Marauders gave to us four exploding cauldrons, three epic snowball fights, two cranky professors and a food fight in the Great Hall.

On the Fifth Day of Christmas the Marauders gave to us FIVE HUNDRED POINTS, four exploding cauldrons, three epic snowball fights, two cranky professors and a food fight in the Great Hall.

On the Sixth Day of Christmas the Marauders gave to us six dentations, FIVE HUNDRED POINTS, four exploding cauldrons, three epic snowball fights, two cranky professors and a food fight in the Great Hall.

On the Seventh Day of Christmas the Marauders gave to us seven pissed off Slytherins, six detentions, FIVE HUNDRED POINTS, four exploding cauldrons, three epic snowball fights, two cranky professors and a food fight in the Great Hall.

On the Eighth Day of Christmas the Marauders gave to us eight toilets a flooding, seven pissed off Slytherins, six detentions, FIVE HUNDRED POINTS, four exploding cauldrons, three epic snowball fights, two cranky professors and a food fight in the Great Hall.

On the Ninth Day of Christmas the Marauders gave to us nine elves a dancing, eight toilets a flooding, seven pissed off Slytherins, six detentions, FIVE HUNDRED POINTS, four exploding cauldrons, three epic snowball fights, two cranky professors and a food fight in the Great Hall.

On the Tenth Day of Christmas the Marauders gave to us ten stampeding centaurs, nine elves a dancing, eight toilets a flooding, seven pissed off Slytherins, six detentions, FIVE HUNDRED POINTS, four exploding cauldrons, three epic snowball fights, two cranky professors and a food fight in the Great Hall.

On the Eleventh Day of Christmas the Marauders gave to us eleven Trees a blaze, ten stampeding centaurs, nine elves a dancing, eight toilets a flooding, seven pissed off Slytherins, six detentions, FIVE HUNDRED POINTS, four exploding cauldrons, three epic snowball fights, two cranky professors and a food fight in the Great Hall.

On the Twelfth Day of Christmas the Marauders gave to us twelve new rules, eleven Trees a blaze, ten stampeding centaurs, nine elves a dancing, eight toilets a flooding, seven pissed off Slytherins, six detentions, FIVE HUNDRED POINTS, four exploding cauldrons, three epic snowball fights, two cranky professors and a food fight in the Great Hall.


End file.
